A Wimp's Strategy Guide to Conquer the Tower

Offers to provide nuclear warheads poured in from countries all over the world.

Honestly, it was something no one had expected.

They had only planned to receive roughly ten or so from the United States.

Nuclear weapons had been used in actual combat exactly twice.

And only by a single country.

After that, their value lay less in practical battlefield use and more in functioning as a strategic nuclear umbrella.

A tool of war deterrence—if you fire, I fire too; if you want to die, then come at me.

That kind of threat.

They could not be discarded easily.

If they were going to get rid of them, everyone had to do it together.

Until now, there had been countless nuclear disarmament treaties.

Since possessing them was such a headache, the idea had been to reduce nuclear arsenals simultaneously.

But none of them had produced satisfactory results.

Everyone had only watched one another warily.

But now.

A path had opened to reduce nuclear weapons very effectively.

There was even justification.

The Outer Gods’ invasion of the Black Tower.

If aliens invaded, Earthlings had to unite.

And if a nation’s nuclear weapons were used in that process, it would actually become a point of pride.

India was the first to express its willingness to provide them.

The Korean Awakening Administration immediately responded in kind.

India was designated as the top-priority reservation country for renting magic guns.

They also promised to clear content for India free of charge when it proved too difficult.

And that was not all.

Items sold at Rajix Trading and the Korean Awakening Administration’s player shop would also be discounted.

Not to be outdone, Pakistan also expressed its intention to cooperate.

Russia, France, the United Kingdom, and even the United States followed.

Only China was missing.

Were they planning to hold onto their nukes and pull something later?

When everyone else was handing theirs over.

“It’s an obvious ploy.”

“Indeed. It seems they intend to maintain nuclear hegemony on their own.”

Juhyeok thought the same.

Then Cossack spoke up.

“Greenie, the succubus, the dimensional farmhand, and me—send just the four of us to China, please.”

“And what would you do there? Set off another nuke?”

“Huh? No way. I’m a mature civilized being now. I would never do something like that.”

Then?

“We’ll steal them all. Greenie handles transport, the succubus puts the guards to sleep, I pick the locks, and Rajix goes SSSK.”

“...You said you were civilized?”

“But we won’t set them off, right?”

That was true.

If everyone else was handing over nuclear warheads without hesitation, hoarding them alone would be creepy and shameless.

“Let’s decide slowly.”

“Yes, sir!”

Today was the day they would receive their first nuclear weapon.

Juhyeok headed to the Pyeongtaek–Osan Base.

The first country to express willingness had been India.

But the country that showed up the fastest with nuclear warheads was the United States.

Arriving at the U.S. base with Commissioner Jeon Gwangil, Juhyeok entered a hangar beside a massive aircraft runway.

“Mr. Bong!”

Waiting for him were Secretary MacMillan and Director Antonio, along with U.S. soldiers.

“Mm, how have you been?”

“Haha, I’ve been well. You’ve been doing well too, Player Bong, right? It must have been difficult clearing the Tower.”

His Korean was good.

When had he practiced that much?

“Yes, I’ve been well. It was a difficult request, so thank you for helping us.”

“Not at all. Ah! The nuclear warheads are ready, by the way.”

Large boxes were stacked on one side of the hangar.

There were roughly more than thirty of them.

“This is the first batch. If you need more, just let us know anytime.”

“And the price—”

“Haha, what do you take the United States for? These have been officially decommissioned. If anything, we should be paying you the disposal cost.”

“Oh my, thank you.”

He got them for free.

“Do you need delivery systems? Missiles to transport the warheads, for example?”

“No, that won’t be necessary.”

They would probably give him a missile launcher too if he asked, but how would he use it?

There were no satellites in the other world, so coordinate systems would not work.

Using Gigants was far better.

They could carry them in both hands, walk over, and boom.

Now, let’s take them.

How?

Call someone, of course.

Turning away from the expectant gazes of Secretary MacMillan and Director Antonio, Juhyeok spoke in a low voice.

“Rajix, Designated Summon.”

SPOT!

“WAAH!”

Their dimensional farmhand appeared inside the U.S. base.

People gasped.

“Oooooh!”

“Rajix!”

“Rajix is here!”

“My god!”

“To see him in person!”

“C-can we take pictures?”

The universally popular cosmic superstar Rajix shrugged and puffed out his chest proudly.

“Wah.”

The greatest beneficiary of the video reveal.

Even his name had been made public.

In fact, both MacMillan and Director Antonio had personally come just to see Rajix in person.

“Mr. Rajix?”

“Wah.”

“Those big boxes over there are nuclear warheads, so please handle them carefully.”

“Waaah.”

Rajix waddled over toward the nuclear warheads on his short legs.

Then—

“WAAAH!”

CLANG! RATTLE-RATTLE.

He performed a somersault for the fans watching him.

“WAAAH!!!”

SSSK, SSSK, SSSKSSSK.

The nuclear warhead boxes were sucked into his subspace backpack.

“Woooooo!!!”

CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

Thunderous applause erupted.

A subspace storage show only Rajix could pull off.

“WAAAAH!!!”

A roar echoed through the hangar.

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

Smartphone cameras went off nonstop.

“Good work. See you later.”

“WAAH!”

“Dismiss Summon.”

SPOT!

The first step in collecting nuclear warheads was complete.

Now India, Pakistan, Russia, Europe... one by one, they would load up nukes and come to Korea.

“...They’ll be overflowing.”

Well, so what?

If there were leftovers, they could just blow them all up.

The world’s greatest nuclear holder.

A walking strategic weapon.

But nuclear weapons were only meant for the great journey missions carried out in dimensions connected to the Tower.

Having them alone would not solve everything.

Especially the archangel.

That thing was coming to kill him.

So where would the battle with the archangel take place?

Inside the Tower?

Or outside the Tower?

Wherever it happened, he had to assume nukes would not be usable.

So, a method other than nuclear weapons.

Well, the summoned entities’ abilities had skyrocketed, so there was not much to worry about.

Still, the Tower-clearing principle Juhyeok had established—

Overwhelming, one-click clearing.

A comfortable run with not even a shred of anxiety.

To achieve that, something more was needed.

A reliable means to THUD! smash the archangel and BAM! finish it off.

The Judge’s Hammer could fill that role, but even that was not quite enough.

“Should I just buy the Godslayer’s Long Spear?”

2.5 billion.

It would probably be good to give it to Meatshield or Bardin.

“...I’ll think about it after going back.”

Anyway, the first task was done.

Next?

While handing over the nuclear warheads, the United States had made a request.

It was not difficult, so he intended to grant it.

“Secretary, you requested a tour of Earth No. 675, correct?”

“Ah! That’s right. Is it possible?”

“Of course. First, we’ll need to enter the Tower.”

“...But we’re not players, so we can’t enter the Tower.”

“It’s fine. Awakening status doesn’t matter.”

Ordinary people could not enter the Black Tower.

But they could enter the White Tower.

As long as they had an entry ticket.

“Here, take one each.”

“What? This paper is—”

“A one-day trial pass. It lets you enter the White Tower for a single day.”

“Oh—”

MacMillan and Antonio’s eyes widened in shock.

The White Tower.

Juhyeok handed them each a trial pass.

SSSK. SSSK.

Their names were automatically engraved.

“Gasp!”

“T-this is—?”

They were utterly stunned.

“Did you gain an entry skill?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Me too.”

It was shocking.

They were not awakened, yet they had Status Windows.

“After 24 hours, the Status Window will disappear.”

“Mm, yes, yes.”

“For now, let’s go in. Just say, ‘Enter Floor 17.’”

MacMillan and Antonio did as Juhyeok instructed.

As they recited the entry command in their minds—

SPOT! SPOT! SPOT!

They entered White Tower Floor 17.

The sight that greeted them was towering high-rise buildings and dozens of Gigants.

Both MacMillan and Antonio were left speechless.

In such an absurd situation, what more needed to be said?

In a distant parallel universe.

The Infernal Palace of the Netherworld, known as the Underworld.

Yama, the god of the netherworld, puffed away on filtered cigarettes while watching movies on a tablet.

“Hm, so it ends like this again?”

The tablet he had received after meeting Great Hero Bong in the Demon Realm.

It was not a brand-new item.

It was secondhand.

More precisely, it was a tablet loaded with permanently downloaded content, allowing offline viewing.

Just how precious was it?

He had even received enough cigarettes to smoke freely for five whole months.

And the price?

Just an old, well-worn hammer.

A hammer was easy enough to replace with a new one.

Compared to this incredible gift, it was laughably insignificant.

That was why he always felt guilty.

“If I ever get the chance to meet him again, I’ll repay him properly—”

That was when—

VROOM, VROOM, VRRROOK, VRRRRK!

The sound of a motorcycle engine came from outside.

“Eek!”

That bastard.

“Why is he here again?”

He hurriedly stubbed out his cigarette and hid the tablet.

A sword immortal had already barged into the Infernal Palace.

“Hey, Yama. It’s been a while.”

Hah, that damn scoundrel.

“I don’t recall inviting you. Is this your house?”

“Haha, are you sulking?”

“I’m not sulking, damn it!”

“Tsk, you lose your temper so easily. Keep that up and you’ll get heartburn.”

“I won’t get heartburn if I don’t have to see your face! So please, just get lost. I’m begging you.”

The Sword Immortal narrowed his eyes.

Why was this old man reacting so sensitively?

Something was going on.

He slowly released his senses and scanned the Infernal Palace.

“...Huh?”

This smell of tobacco.

It was not the crude scent of pipe tobacco mixed with all kinds of impurities.

It was a refined scent, as though it had been filtered once.

Which meant—

Filtered cigarettes.

Strange.

Earth-made filtered cigarettes should have been banned from the shopping mall by the Longevity Immortals for the health of the Celestials.

So where did he get these?

Smuggling?

“...Wait.”

Don’t tell me—

“Yama!”

“...Huh? What is it now?”

“What were you doing just now? It looked like you were watching a movie.”

“And why do you care? I can watch movies if I want.”

“That thing behind you—isn’t that a tablet? Why did you hide it?”

Did this bastard notice?

“I bought it from the shopping mall. So what?”

“That’s not an Earth item.”

“...Ah.”

“Could it be... Great Hero Bong’s Earth item?”

Caught.

If he had known the Sword Immortal would show up, he should have hidden it better.

“You did it. You really did it. You traded with him. Smuggling!”

“Where did you meet him?”

Damn it!

“Did Great Hero Bong open the Earth gate himself?”

“N-no, of course not.”

“Then where?”

Hoo.

After letting out a sigh—

“...We met in the Demon Realm.”

“Explain in detail.”

Yama explained what had happened in the Demon Realm to the Sword Immortal.

“Hoh. So that’s where it was. They say it’s darkest under the lamp—the Demon Realm was the link.”

In truth, the Sword Immortal himself had crossed dimensions many times to meet Great Hero Bong again.

But the places he ended up were always worlds of magic or the Martial World.

He could never return to a place resembling Earth.

That frustration was why he had come to Yama.

After all, he had learned dimensional movement techniques from him.

“Well then, instead of this, let’s open the Demon Realm gate. I have business with Great Hero Bong anyway.”

Yama slowly shook his head.

“No.”

“Huh? Why not? Oh, I see. You want to monopolize Great Hero Bong for yourself?”

“That’s not it.”

“Look at this greedy bastard. You extorted all those precious items for the price of one lousy hammer.”

“Guh... I admit that much, at least.”

“Then hurry up and open it.”

“The Demon Realm is blocked because of causality. I stirred things up too much.”

The Sword Immortal’s expression twisted sharply.

He understood.

“...Tsk.”

Yama was a god of another world.

In places outside his own domain, he was a being that disrupted that world’s laws.

In fact, the Sword Immortal was similar.

Not to Yama’s degree, but he could not stay long in a specific dimension either.

The more influence he exerted, the shorter his allowable stay became.

“Hah... I even plucked plenty of monkey hair to give to Great Hero Bong.”

“Hey, take it easy plucking hair from that poor monkey. He’s still a Buddha, you know.”

“Half Buddha, half demon, so what? It grows back anyway.”

It had been weighing on his mind as well.

Great Hero Bong was someone carrying the duty of saving the world on his shoulders.

“Is it because I covet Earth items? As an Immortal, I regret that I only gave him such paltry help.”

Yama chuckled softly.

“If you really want to, why don’t you open the gate yourself?”

“As if I haven’t tried. I can’t pinpoint the location.”

Opening a dimensional gate.

Opening one randomly without specifying a location was not difficult.

You simply tore open a dimensional rift and stepped inside.

But once you tried to specify the location, it became a completely different story.

It was like searching for a grain of sand on a beach—

A perfectly ordinary grain with no distinguishing features.

When the Sword Immortal had previously gone to the Black Tower, there had been a summons from Great Hero Bong.

That had fixed the location, allowing him to slice through dimensional space with his sword and meet him.

But there had been no summons since.

Without a fixed location, he could not return to where Great Hero Bong was.

“If you’re lucky, you might find it, and if you do, you could open a single tiny hole.”

“A hole? Like a smuggling hole?”

“Yes. That.”

The Sword Immortal’s ears perked up.

“How do you do it?”

“Close your eyes.”

The Sword Immortal closed his eyes at Yama’s command.

SWOOONG.

Netherworld energy seeped into his body.

“What is this for—”

“Enough! Focus! Where is the place you stayed the longest?”

A place he had stayed for a long time.

Not the Black Tower.

Great Hero Bong’s residence.

White Tower Floor 17, where his subordinates lived.

“If traces of immortal energy remain there—”

“Do you really think immortal energy would still remain?”

“Didn’t you say you gave him Immortal Peaches?”

“That trivial fruit—”

“Silence! Do you think Immortal Peaches are mere fruit? They are treasures that carry karmic bonds themselves.”

Well... true, but—

“First, raise your sword and split space. Tear open a dimensional rift!”

“...Mm.”

No choice.

He had to try as instructed, even if it seemed unlikely.

The Sword Immortal raised his sword and sliced through space.

SHHK!

At the same time—

CRAAAACK.

Space split open.

“Pour your immortal energy into the rift. With everything you have.”

“A-alright.”

Would this really work?

The universe was vast.

The Sword Immortal was not ignorant of science.

Even traveling hundreds of millions of light-years at light speed meant practically nothing in the universe.

By probability alone—

Finding Great Hero Bong’s Earth again was less likely than winning the lottery.

“Find it! The traces of energy you left behind!”

“...”

SSSK.

Immortal energy drained out in clumps.

But it was nowhere near enough to cover the vast universe.

His strength was already fading.

“...Kuhhh.”

Seeing this, Yama smirked inwardly.

You idiot. How could this possibly work?

Did he think opening even a tiny hole to a specific dimension was that easy?

Even opening the gate to Earth, which was connected to the Netherworld, had been difficult.

And that had been with the location specified.

It had taken a very long time.

So how could he possibly open a gate to Great Hero Bong’s Earth, which had no connection at all?

This was all just to mess with the Sword Immortal.

That brat kept flitting around everywhere.

He would drain him dry this time.

Make him bedridden in his chamber for at least a month.

“Focus! Pour out your immortal energy!”

“Guhk!”

“Endure it!!!”

That was when—

The Sword Immortal’s hand slowly rose.

“Huh?”

He lifted a finger and poked a point in empty space—

POKE!

RIIIP!

A tiny hole, no wider than a finger, appeared.

And from it bloomed the scent of immortal energy.

“...What?”

What was this?

H-he opened it?

For real?

The Sword Immortal collapsed to the floor, his strength completely spent.

This crazy bastard.

But now was not the time for that.

The hole was shrinking by the second.

“What are you doing? The hole you made is about to disappear.”

“...A hole? What did I even do?”

It seemed he did not even remember what he had done.

He truly had poured out every last ounce of strength.

“What was it you wanted to give to Great Hero Bong?”

“T-this.”

With trembling hands, the Sword Immortal reached into his robe and pulled out a bundle of golden hair.

Yama quickly took it from him.

Then he compressed it to fit the hole’s size, tied it tightly with hair so it would not scatter—

And WHOOSH! pushed it into the hole the Sword Immortal had made.

At the same time, the dimensional rift closed with a SSSRK.

“Haha.”

Just in time.

He had not been too late.

What an absurd coincidence.

Unbelievable.

How could this happen?

The odds were like a blind turtle surfacing once every hundred years,

only for a wooden plank with a hole in it to be floating on the sea at that exact moment,

and the turtle’s head passing perfectly through that hole.

In other words—impossible.

He probably could not do it twice.

Even so, he was extraordinary.

Even now, gasping on the floor after exhausting all his energy.

“Dongbin.”

“...W-why are you calling my name? D-don’t act familiar.”

“Fine, Sword Immortal. Have you ever considered taking the position of King Yama?”

“N-not a chance... I-I need to cleanse my ears.”

Insolent brat.

What was wrong with the position of King Yama?

Still, his talent was undeniable.

How had he even opened it?

Even if it was just a tiny hole that closed immediately.

White Tower Floor 17.

Farmer Duu frowned.

That was because something strange was hanging from the tip of an Immortal Peach tree branch.

It looked like a clump of hair.

What the hell was that?

He needed to report it to the summoner right away.