A Rogue For The Quadruplet Alpha's.

Noah.

I was already burning before I realized it.

The heat had crept up on me quietly, settling into my bones, clouding my thoughts, stirring my wolf in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. I had always prided myself on control, years of discipline, of restraint, of forcing my instincts into submission. But that moment with Maria... it had nearly broken me.

I had almost crossed a line I could never erase.

The instant clarity hit, regret followed just as fast. Sharp. Crushing. The kind that made my chest tighten painfully. I pulled away because I had to. Because if I stayed one second longer, I would do something unforgivable. Something that would make her look at me with fear, or worse, hatred.

And that thought alone terrified me.

I didn’t want Maria to hate me.

I left the room abruptly, not trusting myself to say anything coherent, not trusting my wolf to stay silent. The cool air of the corridor did little to calm the storm raging inside me, but I forced myself to breathe, to walk, to think of anything other than her scent, her warmth, the way my wolf had reacted so violently to her presence.

By the time I returned, I expected, no, hoped, to see her.

But she was gone.

Instead, Anabel was there.

She filled the space Maria had occupied, her presence loud in a way Maria’s had never been. She smiled the moment she saw me, bright and familiar, like nothing had changed, like nothing had almost gone terribly wrong.

"Noah!" she called, her tone playful. "Come on, let’s play."

She reached for my fingers, tugging me closer, and out of habit, out of exhaustion, I let her. I told myself this was normal. Safe. Anabel had always been easy to be around. Predictable. Comfortable.

I went through the motions with her, laughing when she laughed, responding when she spoke, but my body was betraying me. The heat hadn’t faded. If anything, it had grown worse, my wolf pacing restlessly beneath my skin, agitated and demanding.

I needed a woman.

The realization made me tense.

For years, I had denied my wolf, forced it into silence, convinced myself that control was strength. But today, that control was slipping through my fingers, unraveling faster than I could repair it. My thoughts kept drifting, unwanted, intrusive, back to Maria. Her voice. Her eyes. The way she had looked at me, vulnerable and uncertain.

Anabel noticed my distraction, mistaking it for something else.

She moved closer, her touch deliberate now, teasing, familiar. I stiffened, instinct screaming at me to stop her, to step away, but my wolf surged forward instead, drowning out reason. For a brief, dangerous second, my mind betrayed me.

I imagined Maria.

The illusion was enough.

I gave in.

The restraint I had built over years shattered in an instant, desire pouring out unchecked as I leaned into Anabel, kissing her with an urgency born of suppression rather than want. I let myself drown in the sensation, trying to lose Maria’s name echoing in my head, trying to convince myself this was enough.

That Anabel was enough.

Then I heard her voice.

"Noah."

The sound of my name sliced through the room like a blade, sharp and merciless.

I froze.

My eyes flew open as reality crashed down on me with brutal force, tearing me away from the haze I had been drowning in. The doorway came into focus, and there she was. Maria stood there, perfectly still, as though she had walked in on something she could never unsee. Her face was carefully composed, but for just a heartbeat, barely a flicker, I saw it. Pain. Raw and unguarded. Then it vanished, locked away as she turned from me without a word.

Horror flooded my veins.

The woman in my arms wasn’t Maria.

It had never been.

The realization hit hard, sickening in its clarity. My chest tightened as guilt and panic twisted violently inside me, leaving no room to breathe. I shoved Anabel away at once, the movement abrupt and instinctive, as if touching her burned. I didn’t look at her. I didn’t explain. I didn’t even think. None of that mattered.

Only Maria did.

My body moved before my mind could catch up, propelled by something deeper than logic, deeper than pride, pure desperation. I stumbled to my feet and rushed after her, my heart pounding so hard it drowned out every other sound.

"Maria, please wait!" I called out, my voice rough, cracked with urgency.

She didn’t turn around.

She didn’t hesitate.

She didn’t even slow her steps.

Watching her walk away felt unbearable, like something vital was being ripped from me with every second that passed. Her footsteps echoed ahead of me as she hurried away, and fear unlike anything I’d known before wrapped itself around my heart. I forced my wolf forward, letting it take control, letting speed replace hesitation.

I had to reach her.

I had to explain.

I had to stop her from disappearing with that look on her face, the look that said she had already decided something terrible about me.

And no matter how hard my body burned, no matter how loudly my wolf protested, there was only one thing that mattered now:

Not losing Maria.

The moment I stepped in front of her, my wolf surged forward with a force I barely recognized as my own. Before I could second-guess it, my arms were already around her waist, pulling her back against me. She gasped softly, her body stiffening, and when she lifted her head to look at me, her face was pale, her eyes wide with emotions I couldn’t immediately name, hurt, shock, something deeper that made my chest ache.

I swallowed hard and lifted a hand, my fingers trembling as I brushed aside the loose strands of her hair. I tucked them gently behind her ear, the way I’d done countless times in my imagination but never dared to do in reality. Her skin was warm beneath my touch, familiar in a way that felt dangerous.

"Maria," I said, my voice low, almost pleading. "Whatever you saw just now... it means nothing. Nothing at all."

I searched her face desperately, waiting for something, anger, questions, even accusation, but instead, her lips parted and the words she spoke struck me harder than any blow ever could.

"Alpha Noah," she said, her tone painfully formal as she struggled against my hold. "You owe me no explanation."

Alpha.

The single word echoed in my head, loud and cruel. Why the distance? Why now, when I needed her closest? My grip loosened slightly, not because I wanted to let her go, but because the sound of that title hurt more than I was prepared for.

"Maria," I said again, shaking my head. "Please, don’t call me that. Listen to me."

She tried to pull away once more, but this time I stepped closer, forcing her to look at me. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure she could hear it.

"I thought Anabel was you," I confessed, the words spilling out before fear could stop them. "I don’t even know how it happened. You’re in my head all the time, Maria. I can’t get you out, no matter how hard I try." My voice broke slightly. "I was scared to ask you again. Scared you’d reject me again. I didn’t think I could survive that a second time."

She froze.

Her eyes lifted to mine, and for a moment the world narrowed to just the two of us standing there, breathing the same air, sharing the same ache. I saw the pain flicker across her face, saw the walls she’d built begin to crack.

"I love you, Maria," I said quietly, every word heavy with truth. "I always have. I don’t expect anything from you right now. I just... I hope that one day, you’ll see me the way I see you. That you’ll love me the same way."

Tears spilled freely down her cheeks, each one carving a line straight through my heart. Seeing her cry because of me felt unbearable. Instinct took over before thought could intervene.

I leaned closer.

My lips brushed against hers, barely there, a whisper of contact meant more as comfort than demand. When she didn’t pull away, my restraint finally snapped. I let my wolf guide me, not with hunger, but with longing.

I kissed her.

Not roughly. Not carelessly. I poured everything I felt into that single moment, the years of wanting, the patience, the fear of losing her, the hope I’d guarded so fiercely. My lips moved against hers in a slow, aching kiss, as if I could somehow convince her heart to understand mine through that simple touch.

I deepened the kiss gently, testing, asking without words. I wanted to explore her lips further, to memorize the way she tasted, the way she fit against me, but more than that, I wanted her to choose me. I wanted her to kiss me back because she wanted to, not because she felt trapped or confused.

My hands remained at her waist, steady, grounding, as I waited, hoping she would meet me halfway, hoping this kiss wouldn’t be another goodbye.