This Novel is not my Novel

I stared at Vigdís intently, feeling pity for her. Perhaps her discernment, which had momentarily abandoned her, had returned, because Vigdís let out an "Ah..." and lowered her head with an embarrassed expression. She must have realized her misunderstanding and felt ashamed.

Although, it seemed the others still misunderstood.

After all, hadn't I already resolved to endure the rumor that "Karvaldr likes Vigdís so much that he's clinging to her"?

Their misunderstanding wouldn't make it difficult to break off the engagement with Vigdís later.

'As long as Vigdís's misunderstanding is cleared up, that's enough.'

To reveal that Reisir's interpretation was wrong, I first had to explain that I didn't love Vigdís.

To do that, I would also have to mention the secret contract I made with Vigdís to break off the engagement.

If Vigdís brought it up first, I had no intention of stopping her, but I didn't want to reveal it myself. 𝐟𝗿𝐞𝚎𝚠𝐞𝚋𝕟𝐨𝚟𝐞𝕝.𝕔𝕠𝚖

'After all, no one goes around blabbing their personal secrets to just anyone, right?'

Friends.

It's common to share secrets only with people you are very close to and trust deeply.

And I found it far more troublesome to be misunderstood as considering Reisir a friend than to be thought of as madly in love with Vigdís.

So instead of offering an explanation, I simply put some food into my mouth, but...

"Then wouldn't the problem be solved if we all just called each other by nicknames?"

As a solution, Reisir suddenly proposed an absurd idea.

How on earth did he come to that conclusion?

"First off, it's burdensome for Karvaldr to call only Vigdís by a nickname, right? But if he calls all of us by nicknames, then it won't be a special title between lovers, but just a nickname used among friends. Then even if he calls Vigdís by the same title as before, he won't feel so obsessed with her."

Listening to his reasoning, it wasn't just absurd.

It was utter nonsense, a complete feast of gibberish.

"And if all of us call her by a nickname too, not just Karvaldr, then Vigdís won't be scared of being called by that title anymore, right?"

Regardless, Vigdís had never been afraid of Karvaldr calling her by a nickname in the first place.

What she feared was not the title, but the obsession.

Wasn't that why she reacted with confusion when I made that excuse about trauma or whatever?

"So let's all call each other by nicknames!"

Wasn't Reisir just saying that because he wanted to?

Not for me or Vigdís, but purely because he wanted to.

Listening to him, I was so dumbfounded that I even forgot to chew the food in my mouth.

So I hurriedly chewed and swallowed before speaking words of refusal.

But someone else said what I intended to say first.

"I would like to be excluded."

I wasn't surprised at all that Helga voiced such an intention.

Because even at this moment, she was hiding her true tone and personality.

Naturally, she wouldn't allow nicknames.

However, her childhood friend couldn't simply accept Helga's reaction.

"Why on earth?"

"Although it's common for friends to call each other by nicknames, it feels a bit awkward and embarrassing... If possible, I want to save it for someone I love."

Helga cupped her cheeks with her hands, pretending to be shy.

Seeing that act, Reisir's expression soured.

It was understandable that he would react that way.

"Helga. No, Heli. Why are you lying to me like that?"

Are they childhood friends for nothing?

They originally used nicknames for each other.

But now Helga was saying that it felt embarrassing for friends to use nicknames and claiming she wanted to save them. Of course it sounded absurd to him.

"The one who suggested we stop calling each other by nicknames was you, Reisir. So you can't call me that now."

"You know I had no choice back then, right? Now that all the problems have been resolved, I'm saying we should go back to how things were, so why are you refusing? Are you perhaps still upset because I said we should keep our distance? If so, I apologize."

As was clear from the conversation above.

It was entirely Karvaldr's fault that these two people, who originally called each other by nicknames, had started referring to each other only by name.

If Karvaldr hadn't bullied Reisir, Reisir wouldn't have brought up distancing himself from his childhood friend.

"No need to apologize. It's not because of that."

"If not, then why on earth are you doing this?!"

Disappointment was evident in Reisir's expression and voice.

Come to think of it, it seemed his suggestion that all of us use nicknames wasn't solely to close the psychological distance between him and me.

That was probably one of his goals, but...

'It seems his real purpose was to close the distance with his childhood friend, who had gradually become distant.'

I suspected this wasn't the first time Reisir had asked Helga to use nicknames again.

He must have brought it up several times when they were alone.

And yet, because she continued to refuse, this situation had unfolded.

"I just told you. I want to save nicknames for the person I fall in love with someday."

"I don't think there's even the slightest possibility that statement is true, but since you insist it is, I'll let it slide for now. But what about your tone? How long are you going to keep using honorific speech with me in front of others? There's absolutely no reason to do that anymore, right?"

No.

Helga did have a reason.

She was playing the role of a sociable person who got along well with everyone at the academy.

She had faced the harsh reality that she couldn't do anything, even while knowing Reisir was being bullied by Karvaldr.

Helga realized she needed power to protect someone precious to her.

But a peerage wasn't something that could simply be raised because one wanted it to be.

'So Helga set her sights on climbing to a high government position.'

Although a government position couldn't be passed down to descendants like a peerage, if she could rise high enough, she could still protect the people currently by her side.

And if she worked in the Imperial Palace and found an opportunity to make a contribution, her family's peerage might also rise.

While it would be impossible to gain power comparable to a Ducal Family, she thought she could at least obtain enough influence to make it difficult for others to bully her without justification.

Naturally, to rise to a high government position, she had to excel academically.

Exceptionally so.

Otherwise, let alone raising her family's peerage through merit, she wouldn't even be given a chance at promotion.

Thus, Helga was working hard while aiming for the position of top student in her grade.

'The problem is that whether in the class based society of this fantasy world or the capitalist society of the modern era, there's a limit to how high someone can rise through individual ability alone.'

This was precisely why Helga hid her naturally tomboyish side and put on an act.

First, to expand her connections, and second, to avoid making enemies.

Of those two, Helga considered the latter more important.

Because nobles were the sort of people who couldn't stand seeing someone they didn't acknowledge rise above them.

Helga knew that if she, merely the daughter of a Baron, took first place in the grade, many people would resent it.

She also knew that those people, despite their high status and hollow character, could interfere with her studies through bullying and even become a wall that blocked her from entering government service in {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} the first place.

So Helga couldn't easily push away even the people whose terrible personalities made her want to avoid them.

She was careful not to offend anyone, and worked hard to maintain an appropriate distance by speaking pleasantly with a smile on her face.

"Reisir, we'll be adults soon. We can't keep acting and speaking the way we did as children forever."

It truly was an ironic situation.

To think she smiled and said pleasant things to people she disliked, while wearing a serious expression and speaking sharply to the person she cared about.

'If she called Reisir by a nickname and spoke casually with him, then the people she disliked would obviously demand the same treatment and cross boundaries however they pleased. She could just honestly explain her situation and say she can't do that even if she wants to, but...'

Reisir had no idea about Helga's goal or the reason she came to have it.

I knew because the original work had unfolded this story from Helga's point of view.

Since the readers disliked Helga so much, the author had probably written it with the intention of saying, 'Please look kindly on her, she's trying hard too~'.

Despite that, the comments wishing for Helga's death never stopped.

Rather, public opinion worsened, with people saying that a useless character was wasting screen time by explaining her backstory.

'As a result, Helga in the original work met a meaningless death without ever getting the chance to convey her efforts to Reisir.'

Was it because of that characterization?

The current Helga seemed to have no intention of explaining her efforts to Reisir.

Even so, she stared at Reisir resentfully while biting her lip.

Normally, it was an incomprehensible reaction.

But from an author's perspective, the answer was obvious.

This was that kind of trope.

The cliché where someone hurts herself and suffers alone while thinking, 'I'm trying this hard for your sake, but you don't even understand my feelings...!' even though she hasn't explained anything to him.

A silence that exists solely to create conflict between characters, despite the issue being something that could easily be resolved through conversation.

A frustrating plot development that needlessly escalates a trivial matter by heightening the conflict.

Just imagining such a suffocating situation unfolding before my eyes made my throat feel clogged, and I desperately craved a cold carbonated drink.

So I ended up blurting out these words.

"It seems like there's a reason behind all this, so wouldn't it be better to just be honest? What is there to hide between friends who are practically family?"

"Of all people, I don't want to hear that from you...!"

As if proving that she and Reisir really were long-time friends, Helga suddenly exploded in anger.

Still, I could understand why.

"I suppose that's true. Since it's because of me that you two grew distant, it's only natural that my interference would feel unpleasant. But that's exactly why I felt the need to say something."

"What do you mean? Are you saying that because you caused the rift between Reisir and me, you'll step in and reconcile us?"

"Reconciliation is something the two of you must resolve yourselves. I'm merely making an observation."

"......"

Helga didn't hide her uneasy expression and tilted her head slightly, as if telling me to continue.

To have that kind of attitude even while fully aware of what Karvaldr had done to Reisir last semester.

Didn't she think I might dislike her and block her path to success?

Surely she hadn't been brainwashed by Reisir's 'Karvaldr = Tsundere theory' and started thinking I was actually a decent person?