The Hero System Glitched And Now It Pays Me to Love My Assassin Wives

The Regency Council room opened at nine with sixteen occupied chairs and an empty one in the center that was mine.

An emperor accused of incapacity does not preside. He appears.

"Single item," the secretary read. "Determination regarding the governing capacity of His Majesty Vaelion Ironveil under the anathema dictated by the Holy Church."

Decimus occupied the first chair on the left. No speeches and no decorations with two folders and the calm of a man who already knows the result because he wrote it.

The Council’s prosecutor spoke and he was good.

An active anathema dictated by the Church with no possible appeal. A consecrated woman corrupted by the throne according to the bishopric. And sixty one crimes from a criminal network that the crown had recognized as its own in open court complete with a record and a signature.

All true. All mine.

"The Council opens the floor for testimonies," the secretary said, "according to the submitted list."

And the side door opened.

Lunara Marr walked in first wearing the dress armor of a house that did not have the right to wear it a month ago.

"Name and status."

"Lunara Marr. Last commander of the Orden Marr. Imperial consort." She left her helmet on the table. "I come to testify against myself Your Honors because it is the only way you will believe me about the rest."

The murmuring started right there.

"At the Vell pass I ordered the surrender of two hundred and thirteen knights under a promise from the crown. I handed them over unarmed. The crown executed them." Her voice did not shift a single degree. "I have spent five years knowing I was the instrument. And I know who moved the instrument because I read the file this empire sealed with an order not to verify."

"Commander the point of this session..."

"The point of this session is whether the emperor can rule." Lunara placed her open hand on the table. "This man reopened the case that destroyed me knowing it would cost him the army and the chancellor and his own crown. No incapacitated man does that. Incapacitated people protect themselves."

She stood at attention.

"And if my word is worth little coming from a woman who handed over her own men then let the record show that I brought the dishonor here myself and he did not ask me to do it."

She sat down. Eight signatories took notes. Two did not look her in the face.

Zelina walked in second without gloves.

I had never seen her without gloves in public.

"Name and status."

"Zelina Flintstone. Imperial consort. And the person who ran the largest informant network in the empire for twenty years."

The room made noise. She waited.

"Before the throne took it over that network was mine. Its methods too. I am going to describe three operations before this Council with names to accredit the fourth one." She opened her folder. "After today all of you will know exactly how you were watched. Consider it the price for what you are about to hear."

She spoke for forty minutes.

The bishopric’s tithes. The three retired sisters. The dowry of a fifteen year old girl recorded as a pious donation.

With every operation she described the woman who had spent twenty years living in the shadows was left without a shadow in front of sixteen witnesses.

"The anathema that justifies this session," she finished, "was dictated by a bishopric that buys minors and robs parishes. Vote whatever you want Your Honors. But vote knowing whose seal is on it."

Calista walked in third without a habit wearing a borrowed gray dress with her white streak in plain sight.

"Name and status."

"Calista Bloom. Without status."

A councilor stood up to protest. She continued before he even got to a verb.

"I am no longer a Saint. I resigned at the basilica of this city nine days ago in front of a thousand people and I returned the title this bishopric bought for me at fifteen." She placed her bandaged hands on the table. "So the anathema that was dictated for corrupting me was signed by men who no longer represent me over a consecrated woman who no longer existed when they signed it."

Silence.

"Your Honors I do not come to defend the emperor. I come to tell you that this document is just wet paper with incense on top."

Miralys walked in fourth.

And the whole room stood up because nobody knew what else to do with the last heir of a burned crown.

"Name and status."

"Miralys Fae." Pause. "Imperial consort."

Two words she had not spoken in public for five years.

"The southern kingdoms do not recognize this marriage," a signatory said. "Your title here is debatable my lady."

"My title is debatable. My signature is not." She placed a document on the table. "Twelve southern houses. Twelve seals. They recognize this emperor as a legitimate interlocutor and reject any regency imposed upon him."

"How did you get that in nine days?"

"I wrote." She scanned the room bench by bench. "I told them that the man who burned my capital returned my house’s banner to me without witnesses and without asking for a single thing."

Nobody interrupted her.

"And I told them that if the empire deposes him for being decent the south will have learned the only thing it had left to learn about the empire."

She picked up the document.

"I signed as imperial consort Your Honors. You might know what that cost me in my homeland. The dead in my city will know it better."

Saoirse walked in fifth with two boxes of instruments and without anyone’s permission.

"Name and status."

"Saoirse Wynne. Expert. I bring no endorsement from the Towers."

"Then your expertise has no validity."

"My expertise has arithmetic. You will see if it is enough for you." She assembled the instrument on the Council’s table without asking anyone’s permission screw by screw. "Document one is an assassination contract against the emperor presented as signed by him. Document two is the authentic signature of the emperor. A mana signature in ink Your Honors. Every hand leaves its own and it cannot be copied."

The needles spun.

"Five years of studies at the Towers so that none of you has to believe me out of politeness. Look at the instrument."

Twelve signatories stood up to look.

The two needles pointed to different places.

"The contract for the emperor’s death was written by another hand." Saoirse put the instrument away. "The Towers are going to expel me for acting as an expert without an endorsement and for using their archive without permission. I want the record to show that I knew that before coming in."

The Council deliberated for three hours.

I listened to it all from the empty chair in the center without saying a single word the entire session watching five women each pay their own price for a decision I did not make.

The result came out eleven to five. No regency.

And Decimus Vanthel did not lose face for a single instant.

He waited for the secretary to finish reading the result and stood up with the two unopened folders under his arm and bowed his head toward me with genuine professional respect.

"Congratulations Your Majesty. Five women and not a single one bought. I did not see it coming and that does not happen to me often."

"Chancellor..."

"Before adjourning the session Your Honors an agenda item." Decimus turned toward the Council. "The Towers completed the pending certification from five years ago this morning."

He pulled the parchment from the first folder.

"The hero of the prophecy has awakened. He is certified and accredited and has been in this capital since dawn."

He turned toward the main doors and the main doors opened.

"Your Honors with the throne’s permission I present to you Roderic Alden."