The Forest Feeds No Idle Goblins

The Seven Cave Race.

Their chief, Red Face, sat by the pot, questioning two of his subordinates as he ate.

"He challenged us to a fight?"

"Yes, Chief," the goblin on the left answered first.

"How many goblins do they have?" Red Face scooped a piece of meat out and held it in his hand.

The two goblins quickly started counting on their fingers. After struggling for a while without getting a number, the one on the right immediately sat down and started using his toes. The goblin on the left saw this and instantly sat down as well.

After two minutes of counting, the one on the left stood up and said, "Thirteen."

Hearing this, the one on the right, still sitting on the ground, shouted, "Chief, it was fifteen!"

"So how many was it?" Red Face’s tone was unfriendly.

"Thirteen! A bunch of them charged over, and one of them focused on just hitting me," the left goblin said, once again speaking first. He then leaned forward to show the chief the wounds on his face.

"I was beaten by ten goblins! Chief, look, I had it worse than him," the right goblin said, crawling forward a few steps.

"One beat you, and ten beat you... so how many is that in total?" Red Face was completely baffled. After a few seconds, he gave up trying to figure it out and just tossed the meat in his hand to the goblin on the right, thinking he looked a little more pathetic.

"What does their chief look like?" Red Face scooped out another piece of meat.

"Short and small, with no hair on his head," the left one answered immediately.

"He’s really tall, has a Great Sword, and can fight several goblins at once when he charges into a crowd. He also mumbled when he was questioning us," the right one immediately added.

"Huh?" Red Face froze. "So, you ran into two different groups?"

"No, Chief. They sent people to separate us, and their chief focused on beating me," said the left goblin.

"That’s not right. Their chief was beating me," the right one immediately countered.

Red Face thought for a moment, then smiled and beckoned the left goblin over. He promptly slapped him across the face before tossing the meat to the right goblin. "How dare you lie to me? Who’s ever seen a shorty become a chief?"

Ignoring his subordinate, he pulled an animal leg from the pot. "What do they have?"

"A human’s short knife. It’s very sharp; it stabbed right into the ground with one strike," the left goblin said, holding his face.

"They have..." The right one couldn’t come up with an answer.

"And a Great Sword," the left one continued, casting a smug glance at the goblin beside him.

"They have, they have..." The right one started to get anxious.

"What else?" Red Face slowly waved the leg of meat in his hand.

"They also have..." The left goblin’s eyes lit up as he racked his brain.

"They have four female goblins!" the right one finally remembered.

"Four female goblins?" Red Face sat bolt upright. His own group only had one female goblin, but the enemy had four.

"And one of them doesn’t seem to be an adult yet," the right goblin added.

"Good, good. Excellent." Red Face tossed the leg of meat to the right goblin, then wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth. "After we eat lunch, we’ll go kill their chief. Then those four female goblins will be mine."

The left goblin watched enviously as his companion gnawed on the leg of meat. Suddenly, inspiration struck. He bowed and scraped, saying, "That’s right! The chief has the Bang-Bang Fruit! You’ll definitely defeat them!"

Red Face smiled and beckoned him over, and when he was close, slapped him again. "You’ve been eyeing my Bang-Bang Fruit for a long time, haven’t you?"

The left goblin was stunned by the slap. ’This isn’t right,’ he thought. ’I get hit for answering first, I get hit for answering correctly, and I even get hit for flattering the chief?’

He watched with jealous hatred as his companion tore at the leg of meat.

The right goblin, still eating, said, "As long as the chief shouts with enough vigor during the pre-battle taunts, the enemy will be too scared to even fight back."

Before a goblin battle, the two chiefs would first engage in a round of taunts. This usually involved declaring their status as chief, the number of subordinates they had, how many battles they’d won, how powerful they were, and how weak the enemy was.

This served both to prepare their subordinates and to boost their own morale while demoralizing the enemy.

"Hm, well said. Your reward." Red Face tossed him another piece of meat.

Then, he stood up and strode out of the cave. The other goblins swarmed forward and began fighting over the food in the pot.

By the time they had snatched up all the food, Red Face had returned, carrying a large, bulging sack that was clearly full of things. 𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝙬𝙚𝓫𝒏𝓸𝓿𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝙤𝓶

Seeing that his subordinates had finished eating, he picked up the large leg bone of some unknown animal and commanded:

"Move out."

...

In the lush Nightmare Forest, a sea of green stretched to the horizon.

It was a paradise for life, but also a battlefield for survival.

The calls of birds echoed constantly from the forest canopy.

A group of goblins lay scattered in a forest clearing, dozing out of boredom.

"Did they say to meet here for the fight after lunch?" Red Face kicked one of his goblins.

"Yes, Chief," the goblin scrambled to his feet.

"How long has it been?" Red Face was angry. ’They have no damn respect. You challenge me to a fight, and then you show up late, making me wait all this time?’

Goblins had been late before, but it was always the ones who were challenged, not the ones who issued the challenge.

"I’m going to tear their chief limb from limb when they get here," Red Face said hatefully.

He figured they must be scared, which was why they were late. They might not even dare to show up at all. ’How could cowards like that have the gall to issue a challenge?’

If they didn’t arrive soon, he would just lead all his subordinates to sweep through their territory and wipe them out.

This time, not only would he gain a large Hunting Ground and expand his ranks, but he’d also get his hands on their decent weapons.

’Oh, right. And those four female goblins. Mine, mine... all mine.’