On a Variety Show and Getting Carried to an Easy Win by Fluffies

Gu Yunqi gave Gu Zhao a cool glance, his voice chilly and clearly distant. "I’m your second brother, Gu Yunqi."

Gu Zhao nodded, then blinked.

The director was getting anxious. She discreetly poked Gu Zhao and prompted, "Say hello!"

Gu Yunqi frowned slightly. ’This sister really has developed some bad habits. So impolite.’

’Just as the background check said—unruly and incorrigible. A lost cause!’

’I really don’t understand why Eldest Brother insisted on bringing her back.’

Gu Yunqi’s disdain was unconcealed, which only made the director more frantic.

Gu Zhao lowered her head and sighed, "Hewwo, Second Bwother..."

The director was not pleased. "Head up, smile, and speak properly."

’This is so unfair!’ Gu Zhao thought.

"I’m jusht not a smiwey person by natuwe," Gu Zhao mumbled, head still down, stubbornly trying to save face.

The director, not understanding her plight, brought down the hammer. "If you don’t behave, I’m checking your homework."

"Hello, Second Brother!" Gu Zhao immediately looked up and shouted, her lips stretching into a wide grin.

The black hole where a front tooth should have been was strikingly obvious.

Gu Yunqi: ...

The director: ...

The director stared in disbelief. "What did you do?! I was gone for one second! How did you lose your tooth?!"

Gu Zhao felt wronged, too. ’It was the stupid system!’

Gu Yunqi covered his mouth and coughed lightly. He really didn’t want to admit this... thing... was his biological sister.

"Let’s go. Come home with me."

Before Gu Zhao could even react, the director had her bundled up and hustled into the car.

She sat in the car, pressing her face against the window to look back. The second after tossing her inside, the director retreated into the orphanage and slammed the main gate shut.

It was as if she was terrified Gu Zhao would be returned for a refund.

"Sigh!" Gu Zhao felt emotionally exhausted.

’And I just had three days of peace...’

∗[Host, I can play a song for you. Want to listen?]*

Curiosity got the better of Gu Zhao.

’Go on, let’s hear it!’ she replied silently in her mind.

A second later, she was filled with regret.

∗[Oh, little cabbage, so yellow and sad~ Just two or three, and nobody’s glad~ Your brother won’t hold you, your brother won’t care, he thinks you’re a disaster, a burden to bear~]*

...

The system’s one-song loop finally stopped when Gu Yunqi spoke.

"Once you’re home, just live quietly. Don’t try to obtain things that don’t belong to you, understand?" Gu Yunqi shot Gu Zhao a look before turning his head to stare out the window, not wanting to spare her another glance.

He toyed with a fountain pen in his hand.

Gu Zhao didn’t seem to care. She leaned back against the seat, completely relaxed, her two short legs swinging happily. "Second Bwother, if I don’t wanna wive, can I pwe-order a coffin? I want a pure gold one. Pweferably a slide-top, so if I get tired of being dead, I can still come out for a stwoll."

Gu Yunqi’s eyelid twitched violently. The fountain pen he was toying with snapped in two. K-KRAK! He slowly turned his head, his expression utterly deadpan, as if looking at a lunatic who had just gone off the deep end.

"Fine. I’ll stuff you in the trunk right now and take you to the funeral home. I’ll even personally supervise your cremation."

"Then I’ll pick out the pinkest urn for you and have it engraved with five words: ’The Gu Family’s Short-Lived Brat.’ How about that?"

His tone was placid, as if he were discussing something perfectly ordinary.

Gu Zhao blinked. "So, can I get a cash advance on that?"

"No." Gu Yunqi closed his eyes, pretending to rest.

Gu Zhao pouted. "Stingy."

The corner of Gu Yunqi’s mouth twitched. ’Children really are the worst,’ he thought once again.

Gu Zhao flopped back into her seat and stared at the car ceiling.

About an hour later, the car pulled up in front of a villa.

"Get out," Gu Yunqi said, opening his eyes.

Gu Zhao got out and stared at the villa, swallowing hard.

’I want it.’

"Second Bwother, is this your house?" she asked, turning around. Then she froze.

The car was gone.

She stood frozen in place as the car sped off, kicking up a cloud of dust that she inhaled.

She stared in the direction the car had disappeared, her eyes filled with melancholy. "Heh, this dust... just wike the sand he kicked up the year he weft... it bwinds my eyes and chokes my vewy soul..."

∗[Little Cabbage has become Spoiled Cabbage. Why antagonize him when you could be buttering him up? Don’t you want your reward anymore?]*

Gu Zhao trotted on her short legs, stealthily approaching a large yellow dog in the distance.

The big yellow dog was enjoying a meal—a huge piece of ham!

∗[Don’t tell me you’re going to fight a dog for food!]*, the system shrieked, starting to panic.

Gu Zhao licked her lips. There were a lot of kids at the orphanage, and since she considered herself mentally older, she had often given her food away to them.

Now, her stomach was starting to rumble.

"System, I’m a kid right now. It’s not embarrassing, ’kay?"

∗[Host, you are making me, your System, lose face. You know that, right?]* the system’s voice said mournfully.

Gu Zhao didn’t care. ’I’m a kid! And a mental patient!’

’The nurse who took care of me in my past life always said that people who care too much about saving face don’t live long. It’s the ones who don’t give themselves a hard time that live to be a hundred.’

’Even though I died pretty young, I got to transmigrate! So there!’

’So what! Big deal!’

Gu Zhao had reached the big yellow dog. She didn’t try to snatch the food or cause a scene; she just squatted down and stared at it.

"Human... you want some?" Big Yellow lifted its head to look at the person in front of it.

Big Yellow was too earnest a dog for its own good. Being stared at like that made it so awkward that it bit its own tongue several times.

The problem was, this human didn’t seem to know the meaning of embarrassment. She nodded furiously. "Yes, pwease!"

Wagging its tail, Big Yellow suppressed its own hunger, picked up the rest of the ham, and presented it to the little human.

"You can have all of it, then. You have to eat lots to live a long, long time."

The big yellow dog lay down at Gu Zhao’s feet, watching her with adoring eyes.

Gu Zhao plopped right down on the ground.

"Fwom now on, you’we my Doggie Auntie! I’ll take cawe of you in your owd age and give you a pwopeh funewal!" Gu Zhao’s tongue awkwardly prodded the gap where her tooth should be. ’I should get a gold one installed later,’ she mused.

The system couldn’t bear to watch anymore. It decided to just let her run wild. What choice did it have, being bound to a little fool?

「In the villa next door.」

Gu Xulin was about to die of anger.

"If you weren’t going to raise her, Second Brother, why did you bring her to me?! I told you I don’t do kids!" Gu Xulin’s brows were tightly knitted. His fingers clenched around his phone, and he irritably yanked the top two buttons of his collar open with one hand.

The voice on the other end was perfectly calm. "The little girl in the pink floral dress. Raise her, don’t raise her, it’s up to you. I’ve already dropped her at your gate."

"Me, raise her? Are you trying to get us both killed?! Besides, I have work to do!" After hearing whatever was said on the other end, Gu Xulin angrily hung up. He scrubbed a hand through his hair in frustration, cursing under his breath, "Gu the Fox! That treacherous bastard!!"

’I should have known! A guy with my second brother’s personality, proactively volunteering to take the kid during the family meeting? Of course he was up to no good!’

"Fuck!" Gu Xulin stormed out of the house, his eyes scanning the entrance to the villa.

"Where’s the kid?" Gu Xulin’s frown deepened. ’Don’t tell me she got lost on her very first day?’

Though he was still cursing under his breath, he immediately started searching the area around the villa. The moment he stepped out of the courtyard, he saw her on the roadside lawn, sitting with a big yellow dog.

The little girl was holding a piece of ham thicker than her arm and was just about to take a bite. The big yellow dog appeared to be "fiercely staring" at her, practically drooling.

Gu Xulin immediately sprinted over, scooped the child up with one arm, and took off running, tossing the ham she was holding back to the big yellow dog as he went.

Gu Zhao was completely bewildered, only able to watch helplessly as the food that was inches from her mouth was snatched away!!

The big yellow dog reacted instantly, barking as it gave chase.