Limitless Evolution As a Snake

Matthew Vane lived a life so painfully safe, so utterly devoid of excitement, ambition, or risk, that when he died of a heart attack at 4:45 PM on a Tuesday, even the universe seemed offended. His reward? Being reincarnated into a brutal, dystopian underworld as a baby crimson snake. With an Indulgence System. It was supposed to be one of those lust systems with a gorgeous goddess guiding him. Instead, thanks to what can only be described as a catastrophic malfunction, his System is a foul-mouthed, permanently drunk Australian guy. Because Matt spent his entire human life avoiding risks, his System only grows stronger through pure, shameless self-indulgence. Want to level up? Give in to your desires. Want more power? Do whatever makes you happy and stop worrying about everyone else. Matt has no interest in saving the world, and he certainly isn't trying to become its villain. He just wants a comfortable life, plenty of good food, and the least amount of effort possible. There's just one tiny problem. Matt has absolutely no idea how to build a proper monster. While other beasts evolve world-ending acid breath, diamond-hard fangs, or unstoppable killing abilities, Matt wastes his precious Indulgence Points on the most impractical build imaginable—choosing skills based entirely on convenience, comfort, and vanity. To make matters worse, he only gets three skill slots for his entire journey from F-Rank to SSS-Rank. Every time he wants a cool new ability, one of his existing skills has to be deleted forever. His carefully crafted "meta build" includes masterpieces such as: [Slither Quickly (F-Rank)] — Optimized for escaping danger as fast as physically possible. [Look Slightly Menacing (E-Rank)] — Makes his tiny snake face just intimidating enough that low-level adventurers decide he's not worth the trouble. [Seductive Hiss (B-Rank)] — Doubles his Charm Aura. Because if you can't bite the high-elf ranger, you might as well flirt your way out of becoming someone's coin pouch. Too lazy to be a hero. Too selfish to be a villain. Matt somehow becomes the underworld's greatest wildcard—a tiny danger noodle whose hypnotic bedroom eyes, snack-holding prehensile tail, and completely unpredictable decisions leave monsters and adventurers alike wondering one terrifying question: What the hell is that snake going to do next