I Can Do Anything?

...

"How bias are these heavens!" Xuan Wu spits, obviously frustrated.

"It seems superior-grade talents are really favoured by the Heavenly Dao."

A tall man wearing black robes appears next to Xuan Wu unexpectedly, speaking on Xun Shi

Xuan Wu backs up a bit, startled by the mans appearance. "Who are you? How'd you get in my abode!" He slowly picks up an iron sword given to him by the sect upon joining the sword peak.

The man turns around and smiles, waving his hand to calm Xuan Wu down. "It's okay, I'm not here to hurt you." He chuckles, "You know, I'm actually an elder." He whispers.

"A-an elder?" Xuan Wu slowly calms down, but his eyes fall on the system panel, and he gasps.

[Lian Zan] [Title: Fourth Elite]

[...]

"F-Fourth Elite? What could that possibly mean?" Xuan Wu readies himself before expanding the title.

[Title: Fourth Elite, effects: Being the fourth elite, he is the descendant of Lian Po, always in the state of absquatulate. +1.5x cultivation speed, +1.25x dominance, -300% mental state, +0.001 legacy, +100 secrecy...]

Suddenly, before Xuan Wu's very eyes, a very long paragraph of text appears before him.

Lian Zan whistles, his body flickering into the shadows slowly. "Boy, I don't have much time left... just have this little gift." He chucks a red box at Xuan Wu, before fading into the shadows.

Xuan Wu catches the box easily, now that he is a cultivator, his reflexes are insane.

Opening it, his eyes widen to find—

A gallbladder! A human gallbladder!

It slowly beats... and then shoots a strange fluid at Xuan Wu's face.

"Eww! Ahh, get it off me!" Xuan Wu struggles, the fluid is rancid and warm, its a bit viscous and has chunks of something in it.

[Detected strange artifact nearby.]

[Miracle Gallbladder. Taken from the corpse of the great ancient cultivator Gao Hong, this gallbladder may spew mystical bile from time to time...]

Xuan Wu nearly throws up hearing this.

"How gross, what elite elder?" He grits his teeth, sitting back down.

"That's it, I need to cultivate!"

He throws the artifact aside and starts cultivating harder than usual.

Meanwhile, Xun Shi effortlessly breaks through to the second layer, riding off of the heavens pampering. Maybe in a couple of months he'll reach the ninth layer.

His eyes slowly open, a confident glare inside of them. "This must be what my father warned me of, cultivator ego." He then shakes it off, converting it into momentum. "Whatever."

Continuing to cultivate, Zeng Su smiles outside.

"Hm, my grandson—ah, I mean my disciple Xun Shi is to die for!" He shakes his head, chuckling.

A green frog stands next to him, and then it dies unexpectedly, falling onto the wet cold grass. He rubs his forehead a couple of time then walks back to his abode.

Though, the frog's heart remains beating in a steady rhythm, although its mind is null.

"The court states that even though the mind and soul are connected, the heart is not interlinked, providing life to the physical but not the spiritual. Though some may argue that the heart is the key to spirituality and that it is a core, majority believes the heart to be a mere physical organ, unlike the brain or the more mysterious dantian. Zhao Ling argued, with spittle flying everywhere and hairless chickens roaming around, that the heart is where the heavenly dao lies, and that the rest of the court were pathetic 'Cows' and 'Mongrels' his saliva overflooded the courtroom, causing many old men to pathetically roll around and grieve, their tears conjoining with the saliva in an unorthodox mess—causing Libero himself, the pronounced devil at the time to grind his teeth into dust and barf at his generals. He was rumoured to have converted into the religion of peace—announcing a huge cause and effect. The sermon declared that Libero was an utter and complete idiot with no hope, and he was thus executed, beginning a new age..."

Xuan Wu reads through, back at his abode. He just suddenly gained an insight, an insight of pure madness.

"The court? Zhao Ling? Libero? Hairless chickens? The religion of peace!?"

Utter madness!

The ramblings of a crazy man!

"Do I have schizophrenia!?" Xuan Wu questions himself, his mind spinning.

It was catastrophic, one moment he was cultivating, and then he felt himself spiralling into some sort of depth. Furthermore, a silky smooth voice with a toned accent, spoken from what seems to be an old man—decided to lick and prod his ear, spilling this long passage of curses into his precious earbuds.

[Insight gained.]

[+130% trash-talk]

A vein pops from Xuan Wu's forehead.

"Really? Aren't these insights supposed to be super rare, then how come, how come it just increased my trash-talking skills!?"

He almost freaks out, holding himself back.

"Just continue cultivating... just continue cultivating."

Xuan Wu shuts his eyes and returns to cultivation, his cave abode standing tall.

Meanwhile, the underground scene is just as gross as ever, way under the sect.

Four elite elders are gathered, three of them have their faces fallen in anger.

"Lian Zan, what is the meaning of this?" An elite dressed in clown attire with narrowed eyes speaks.

"That was a gift for Lady Jie. How disrespectful." Another elite wearing a monocle comments."

Lian Zan sighs, and then spits on the ground, kneeling down to rub it between his fingers. "You guys just don't understand, that old man I told you about recently gave me a dream..."

The clown shouts, foot stomping. "What old man! There's something wrong with your head Lian Zan!!!"

An elite with a beast head storms off in anger, pants sagging.

Lian Zan stands, towering over the two remaining elites. "Come on guys. Let's just sleep, calm, relaxed, serenity, peace, tranquillity, harmony, goodwill..."

He smiles slowly and starts rambling, eyes wandering.

The clown looks to the monocle wearing elite, and then they both exit the room. Lian Zan remains in his stupor, words coming out like nothing.

The elites are a strange bunch, to say the least.

...