Destiny in Cinders

Hearing the term "blood brew" and the description given by the mysterious voice, An Jing felt his breathing go rough and vision turn blurry. His firm feet began to wobble and he bit his lip so hard that it bled. Then, he laughed.

"Hahaha! Is this what the vice apothecary wants me to see?" As he muttered, he looked at the other tens of "medicinal" tanks. The numbers didn't really match. Perhaps not every person who was eliminated would be made into medicine. Some of them would become riders or other kinds of servants. However, did that really make it better?

"Manor Lord, oh Manor Lord..." An Jing calmed down. "What kind of reaction did you think I would have? Dismissal? Wrath? Hate? Or fear?"

The answer came from within himself. Of course it's fear, An Jing. Do you think you possess none of it? For the sake of survival and to avoid being singled out, you feigned ignorance. Did you really not consider the possibility? Did you really miss the subtle cues? Did you not subconsciously avert your gaze?

You keep consoling yourself that those who were eliminated might still be alive. You tell yourself that you're different from them, that you're a genius. Even if someone would be devoured, it wouldn't be you. You're the one who gets the biggest meals. You are in a completely different league than the rest.

As long as you keep fearing death, you will continue to fall and console yourself in this manner. The demonic cult has long seen through your true nature. It doesn't matter if you're loyal, sentimental, or the complete opposite. As long as you fear, they will not.

"I... I'm not afraid of death!" He took a deep breath, initially wanting to rebuke it. However, he suddenly felt a chill down his spine.

He had suddenly come to realize that he wasn't afraid of his own death, but he was afraid of the people around him dying. It was like a man would sacrifice himself without fear, yet hesitated from the thought of his parents and relatives who would be left behind to fend for themselves. It wasn't that he lacked courage; he simply had attachment.

An Jing still had two living friends in Direlife Manor, Gu Yeqi and Cang Linzu. Apart from them, there were more than a hundred others who called him their big brother. He couldn't afford to take any rash action.

Had he really been changed into an unfeeling monster by the demonic cult, he wouldn't turn on the cult just because of what he had learned. Instead, he would choose to integrate even deeper with them and become one of the people who decided who to sacrifice. Perhaps he could become the next manor lord or even aim for the higher position of Lord Inspector of the North. 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝓮𝒘𝙚𝙗𝒏𝙤𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝒐𝙢

If he was someone loyal and sentimental, he wouldn't flip out against the cult either because of his friends who were still alive. This was made even harder by how the demonic cult had ultimately been the ones who had given him the medicine he needed to save his mother. If he was someone pure and kind, he would choose to join his benefactors, albeit hesitantly, and end up being absorbed into their ranks.

There simply was no way to care for his friends, pay back the cult's actions, and resist the cult all at the same time. Only fools or monsters beyond reason could afford to take actions like those, and An Jing was neither.

The most tragic thing was that he realized something else. "My thoughts have slowly been twisted to align with the demonic cult... I think I even believe that these disaster children have nothing to complain about. They've been saved, and the cult has given them enough time to prove themselves. They had been in the cult's care for a time, no matter what happened to them after that.

"But does that mean that those who sell themselves into service have no right to even resist before they're killed? I..." He looked at the bone. What in the world should I do?

"Child, calm yourself. This is what the demonic cult wants: great grief and rage. When your mental state is being shaken, you will make choices that you normally never would."

"I understand." He looked deeply at the snow-white bone stripped completely of flesh and wiped his face. He could pick up the scent of tears and rain.

He put the stone lid back on the tank and turned his clear gaze away from the yard. "I understand better than anyone else."

"What are you going to do now? Will you escape? Seek vengeance? Or perhaps... Are you planning to forsake these people who have no deep ties to you and continue to play the role of senior disciple?"

An Jing shut his eyes and thought back at how the refugees had cooked and eaten the flesh of children. He had wanted to believe in the fiction that there truly was a group of charitable people in the world who would spare no expense to train children in the martial way before taking them in as members like any righteous martial sect would. It was such a childish, peaceful fantasy that would allow him to continue taking up his mantle as senior brother, living out an idyllic life fighting for Direlife Manor's just cause. All that had come crashing down.

There wasn't any trace of burning rage within him. Instead, it was nothing but bone-chilling frost that kept him alert and clear minded.

So, it doesn't matter where I am. It's either eat or be eaten, huh? This way of life... This world... I will never let you all have your way!

His eyes snapped open, glowing brighter than ever before. The spark within him had reignited with full force. "I told my mother that if I found myself in the ranks of a demonic sect, I would bide time and find the opportunity to escape. I will never join them in their filth. But now, I want to do even more. I want everything. I want to take my friends with me. I do not wish to devour others, nor to be devoured! I will resist anything that I can see!"

He grit his teeth as tightly as he could. "Even if I fail, I still have to try, even if the result is death."

Even if he was a crab in a cage, he would at least try to pinch their feet if they came close!

"Very good." The sword-crisp voice seemed to chuckle. "I didn't misjudge you after all. These demonic cultists think they've already got their grasp firmly around you. They think you won't be able to escape, so they let you do as you please. But they are wrong, because I am around, because they failed to see your true nature.

"An Jing, your feelings and thoughts are correct. Only fools or monsters beyond reason can aspire to want everything. Even though you are a true genius, a monster you are not. But I will give you a chance to forge yourself into one such monster. Whether you'll succeed depends on you.

"For now, focus on suppressing the demonic intent within you. I will teach you a contemplation technique to serve as a basis for everything else."

The mnemonic and the technique itself flooded into An Jing's mind. "The divine arises from dao, and dao is pure. Therefore, the divine is inherently pure. The divine is like a mirror. Should it be clouded in darkness, dispel it with the light of your mind. The divine is like water. Should it be murky, clear it with your mind. The divine is like a sword. If it's rusted, polish it with your grit. Strive nonstop for purity and clarity."

This was the Sword of Tranquility.