A Knight Who Eternally Regresses

'I'm scared.'

The moment Dunbakel faced herself, heading toward the unknown, she felt like she would wet herself.

Her fear was that great.

'What if I go to the East and die?'

Her childhood came to mind.

The moment she was ostracized from beastkin society and had to be cast out.

She had been scared then, too.

Her knees had trembled.

'It's different from then.'

Back then, she had no choice, but now, it was her choice.

That was the biggest difference.

Dunbakel had not forgotten that.

And so, she had moved forward.

She had headed east.

She had left the comfortable dwelling she had felt for the first time in her life.

And in the place she had gone, she had learned many things.

So many things.

Anu, the king of the East, had great ambition.

He accepted anyone with skill and led his group based on a single rule.

"Do not stab your comrades in the back."

They said he was a former mercenary, and he was indeed a truly magnanimous person.

He was also a charming one.

Among those who followed him, some would willingly give their lives to protect him.

That's how it looked to Dunbakel.

'Those who walk toward their dreams shine.'

Enkrid and Anu were the same.

They were stars, adorning the night sky, their light overcoming even that of the two moons.

The saying that people become stars when they die might have come about because of people like them.

"You're quite the coward, aren't you?"

That was what she heard as soon as she arrived.

There were many who had a good sense for people.

"Who?"

Dunbakel played ignorant, but no one was fooled.

Among those who followed Anu, there were over ten who were of so-called knight-level strength.

If they were to enter the continent as they were, it would be the emergence of a military force on par with a tectonic shift.

But they had no such intention.

They only risked their lives for exploration and adventure.

The Shepherds protected the land while tending to their sheep, and the Black Leather Guild wagered everything for the hunt, they said.

"Hey, being a coward isn't a weakness."

One of them approached her.

In terms of martial prowess alone, she was someone who was difficult to call a knight.

Anu had assigned a woman from the Black Leather Guild to Dunbakel.

She was a smiling warrior with curly red hair.

If it came to a simple frontal confrontation, there were plenty who could beat her.

But no one enjoyed fighting her.

She was a type Dunbakel had never seen before, and she was subtle.

'Not a Junior Knight, and not a knight.'

In terms of awakening her Will, she was lacking, but in actual combat, she produced that much efficiency.

'Though it is conditional.'

That's why it was surprising.

It was because their ways of building martial strength and their ways of thinking were completely different.

'Not everything is as clear as a drawn line.'

The world was like that.

Because she had been abandoned by beastkin society for possessing the golden Demon Eyes, Dunbakel had also whetted her blade of revenge against them.

But was that really what she wanted?

To live life correctly meant to decide one's way of living.

Dunbakel had not yet decided on her way.

She had never clearly chosen a goal, a dream, or anything else.

Before, she hadn't had the chance to choose, and afterward, her thoughts had not expanded that far.

And now?

Since she was in the East, it would be good to sort out these thoughts one by one.

"Fear is not something to overcome, but to have as a companion."

Dunbakel learned many things from her.

In a sense, she had learned here what she should have learned in the place she was born and raised.

"You've become somewhat useful now?"

Anu, the king of the East and the mercenary king, had repeatedly pushed that Dunbakel into dangerous battlefields.

He had made her fight large-scale monsters and enter lairs teeming with hundreds of serpent beasts.

There were a few truths she had obtained through all those experiences.

'No one has ever tasted death, so why is it the ultimate fear and terror?'

Anu's voice could be heard.

It was a line she had heard countless times.

"Your inherent instincts make it so. Handling that properly is your first task. Gaining martial strength comes next. You smelly beastkin."

Anu's words were, one and all, based in fact.

Even the title of 'smelly beastkin.'

Dunbakel acknowledged it.

Knowing oneself, being able to observe through insight, was necessary to have a next step.

'I'm scared.'

She had been told that fear or terror was not something to overcome, but to handle.

She had done so.

She had not tried to overcome it but had acknowledged it, organized her trains of thought, achieved what she wanted, and returned here now.

'Though my scimitar broke as soon as I arrived.'

Honestly, that wasn't even worth worrying about.

In the East, it was common for relics to be crushed or broken.

After her spar with Rem, Dunbakel also fought Enkrid.

She was a beastkin who had returned with skills that were clearly different from before and a unique means of attack.

Enkrid couldn't help but be intrigued.

"A round with me, too."

It meant it was only natural for the man named Enkrid to charge in like this.

The way he spoke, licking his lips, revealed his anticipation.

He was itching to fight right now.

Dunbakel readily nodded.

And as she did, she spoke.

"Hm, I was careless."

Enkrid reacted to those words.

Every fight begins before the sword is even drawn.

That was the way he had learned.

"Did you also learn how to make your face as thick as Rem's?"

At the light provocation, Dunbakel let out a chuckle.

"Is that something that can be learned?"

And then the moment came to spar.

"You're dead after this."

From behind, Rem spoke with a smile that dripped killing intent.

It was directed at Dunbakel and was likely about the 'thick face' comment.

It must have been considerable pressure, yet Dunbakel paid no mind.

Enkrid thought as he looked at the beastkin with golden eyes.

'Overcoming fear is bravado.'

It was something he had heard during his time moving between mercenary bands.

Just because one lacks skill doesn't mean one doesn't know the principles.

The senior mercenary in that band was one who had understood the principles.

'Courage, you see. It's not about forgetting fear, but about making it so you can move without issue even when accompanied by fear.'

What was the conclusion back then?

Ah, he had told him to train like a madman so that he could fight as usual even in a state of fear.

It was something he had always done, so he hadn't paid it much mind.

But it was after he had awakened the Heart of the Beast that he had finally put his words into practice.

'It's not easy.'

Knowing and doing are different matters.

Enkrid grasped a part of Dunbakel's state through his insight.

'To be able to fight as usual even when scared and afraid.'

She had not forgotten her fear.

Instead, she had trained to fight while embracing even that.

Anu must have thrown Dunbakel into countless real battles for this purpose.

He had made her experience combat where one wrong move meant death.

The impression of the mercenary king Anu was strong.

Because he was not a man to be easily forgotten, he remained clearly imprinted in Enkrid's mind.

It was as if he could hear his voice.

"You foolish beastkin, try and survive."

He must have pushed Dunbakel like that.

The result of that survival was the now.

As Enkrid generated pressure and bore down on the beastkin, the golden eyes curved.

A smiling expression.

Her courage was revealed in the form of bravado.

Well, if not in action, one could at least do so in words.

"That's light, Captain."

Though the pressure bearing down on her entire body was not low, her tone was tinged with arrogance.

And unlike her words, her body reacted honestly.

It was as if the fine hairs on her body stood on end, and then she immediately began her beast transformation.

White fur erupted all over her body, and her appearance changed.

Her eyes became deeper, and the fur covered all of her skin.

The fur stuck out from between her gauntlets and greaves.

Her dark brown armor swelled and expanded.

'Her build is getting bigger, too.'

It was a change that hadn't been there before.

As if she had become a single beast of prey, Dunbakel bared her fangs.

Grrrrr—

A growl, pitched low and beyond the range of ordinary human hearing, that stimulated a person's inherent fear.

Her growl contained pressure.

The method of implementation was different, but the realized conclusion was similar.

'A path reached by walking, running, and crawling outside of the normal way.'

Just because it's not normal doesn't mean it's wrong.

Dunbakel had simply pioneered her own path.

"You were so meek when you fought me, so this is your true…"

The angry voice of Rem could be heard from behind.

He was asking why she hadn't used her beast transformation when fighting him.

He had a right to be dissatisfied.

Enkrid, hearing Rem's voice as the last thing, forgot his surroundings and drew Dawnforged.

His concentration flared up like a fire, filling his entire body with Will.

Dunbakel clenched her two fists instead of a weapon.

It would be good to gift her a scimitar when this spar was over.

One made by Aetri, at that.

And the spar began.

It was not long.

Enkrid confirmed Dunbakel's unique points and responded.

'Extinguishing Embers.'

A combat art based on grasping the starting point of all attacks.

It was at a level where it could block Beelrog's attacks.

Even if Dunbakel's skills had improved, even if she showed unbelievable physical abilities due to her beast transformation, there was no way he would be broken by the beastkin's attacks.

However, a few of Dunbakel's fists and feet did get past the boundary created by Enkrid's sword.

That couldn't be helped.

Dunbakel's way of fighting was quite special.

It was just after he had received eighteen of her attacks and, as the nineteenth counterattack, he had struck Dunbakel's head with the flat of his sword.

She sprawled out and spoke.

"Isn't this cheating?"

Her chest rose and fell with her breathing.

"What do you mean, cheating?"

Rem, who was watching, chuckled, and Enkrid opened his mouth nonchalantly.

"Again?"

Dunbakel's way of fighting was different from before.

It had changed a great deal.

That's why it was stimulating.

"Sniff. Fine."

Dunbakel blew out a clot of blood that had formed in her nose and got up again.

Her transformed body had become as hard as a giant's.

'Ironclad achieved at the subconscious level.'

It was different from the Holy Light Armor, but should one say the effect was similar?

In the words of the beastkin world, it meant that Life Force had imbued all the fur on her body, turning it as hard as steel.

Enkrid raised his sword again, and Dunbakel charged again.

It was after a round of sparring time had passed.

"You're not throwing a banquet? I want to eat some well-cooked lamb."

Dunbakel suggested a banquet to commemorate her return.

"Didn't you bring any precious liquor or anything from the East? If you have some, bring it out."

Rem quickly took her words and said.

He was asking if she had come empty-handed.

"Where would I get something like that? It's hard to even eat a proper meal. You have to go to the central camp just to eat some field rations. If not, it's a place where you have to just tear into some beast meat. Why do you think they sell the relics they find in the East?"

The meaning of her last added words was that the eastern expedition team had a structure of selling relics to buy things needed for daily life.

In other words, it also sounded like it was difficult to secure food in the East with just hunting and gathering alone.

He had never been there, but just from those words, he could tell how barren a place it was.

Rem didn't get angry at those words and just blinked his eyes a couple of times.

It was an expression that would only come out when he was truly surprised.

"You."

As Rem was opening his mouth toward Dunbakel, Krais, who had appeared at some point, was also nodding with an impressed face right next to him.

But in the end, it was Jaxen who drew the conclusion.

"Are you capable of thinking now?"

Even Audin stepped in.

"The Lord's grace has watched over you, sister."

Only then did Dunbakel realize they were teasing her, and after surveying their faces, she fixed her gaze on Enkrid.

Enkrid, not to be outdone, added a word.

"So you can cultivate even wisdom through training?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? I could always use my head this much, you know?"

Instead of the bravado that overcame fear, she was now able to think without getting flustered because she knew how to handle it.

Even if they knew that structure, everyone must have been sincere in their teasing.

In any case, they held a banquet.

"Will well-cooked lamb be enough? Let's bring out some veal tenderloin and a dish our chef developed of a whole chicken fried in oil!"

Krais shouted.

It was an impromptu banquet.

It was a night where the moon was bright and the stars also adorned the sky.

Shinar was nowhere to be seen, but Esther had come at some point and sat down next to Enkrid.

"If my legs hurt, will you hold me too?"

She even threw a joke that didn't suit her.

"You must have seen Shinar."

"On my way."

Esther's whereabouts could not be easily pinned down.

She came and went from the city of elves and would also wander the Pen-Hanil Mountains.

These days, she spent most of her day teaching the members of the magic unit under her command.

"You killed who? Beelrog?"

Dunbakel, upon hearing what the Order of the Madmen Knights had done recently—that is, what had happened before—was so surprised she was about to spit out the food in her mouth.

"Hup."

A piece of lamb came out of her mouth and then was sucked back in.

It was not a pretty sight.

"Do you even wash up these days?"

Rem asked, clicking his tongue.

"Is that what you say as soon as I arrive?"

It wasn't what he had said as soon as she arrived, but it might have sounded that way to Dunbakel.

As nagging tends to be.

"Tell us a bit about how you've been."

This was Krais asking.

Dunbakel was about to tell a grand story of the monsters she had met in the East.

Like the ones that were as big as giants.

But after hearing the story of them cutting down a fortress wall and killing Beelrog, her own story didn't feel as exciting.

All the more so since she wasn't very good at telling stories.

She knew that fact well.

"Well, I fought."

Enkrid liked stories, so he had been looking forward to it, but the words that came out seemed too short, so he said a word.

"Didn't Anu teach you how to tell stories?" 𝑓𝘳𝘦𝑒𝑤𝑒𝘣𝘯ℴ𝘷𝘦𝓁.𝑐𝑜𝑚

"Ah, well, I just kept fighting and fighting. In the East, way more monsters come out than you can even compare to here."

Still, that was all Dunbakel had to say.

Then she added a little about the people who stayed in the East.

"There are shepherds there?"

Fel interjected.

What he was interested in was the existence of shepherds said to be in the eastern expedition.

"I didn't see them often. I mostly hung out with people from the Black Leather Guild."

The Shepherds of the Wilderness, the Black Leather Guild, and even the Glacial Rangers.

These three groups were, in a way, legendary.

Since they were groups that had stayed in one region under the same name for at least a hundred years.

Luagarne, too, was a frog whose curiosity was second to none.

"Does the eastern expedition just keep going on and on?"

"Well, they fought among themselves in between, and there was a lot going on."

Ropord also joined in and asked.

"You said there were many unique monsters?"

Dunbakel answered nonchalantly.

"There's one that looks like a giant. It's this big, and most blades can't even pierce it. There's a guy called an armed fighter who's armed with relics from the East, and he caught it. How he caught it was…"

It was a chatter that made the night feel short.

Dunbakel, who had said it felt like she had come back to the wrong place, quickly mixed in with them.

"The Order of the Madmen Knights, then is the vice-captain position mine, as the only beastkin?"

She spouted some nonsense after a few drinks in between and almost got beaten to death.

"It's a joke, a joke. Take your hand off the axe. No, when did you get here with a sword. What is that sword? It looks more precious than most relics."

Ragna put away the half-drawn Sunrise.

Dunbakel, perhaps excited, had also become more talkative than before—that is, before she had left.

In any case, the beastkin had returned, and everyone welcomed it.

It was a night where the starlight patted their shoulders and wrapped around their backs.